top of page
Writer's pictureAnne Keen

Healing from Trauma: Rebuilding Self-Trust, Self-Esteem, and Healthy Relationships

Updated: Jul 27


Trauma and difficult life transitions can leave profound marks on people, shaping their emotional and psychological landscape in ways that can be both subtle and obvious. These experiences often contribute to a range of struggles, including difficulty in trusting oneself, low self-esteem, conflicts in relationships, and anxiety. Understanding these connections can help in recognizing the impact of past experiences on present behavior and emotional health.


Trusting Oneself

Trusting oneself is foundational to making decisions, setting boundaries, and fostering a sense of autonomy. Traumatic experiences, especially those involving betrayal or abuse, can significantly erode self-trust. When someone is repeatedly exposed to situations where their safety or well-being is compromised, they might internalize the belief that their judgment is flawed or unreliable. This can manifest in second-guessing decisions, hesitancy to take risks, and a pervasive sense of self-doubt.


Research indicates that trauma can disrupt the development of self-trust by altering one’s perception of reality and undermining their confidence in their own perceptions and judgments (Herman, 1992). Survivors of trauma may find it challenging to rely on their instincts and feelings, often fearing that their internal compass will lead them astray.


Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is another common consequence of trauma and difficult life experiences. When individuals are subjected to experiences that devalue their worth, such as emotional abuse, neglect, or rejection, they may internalize these negative messages, leading to a diminished sense of self-worth.


A study by Wright et al. (2013) found that individuals with a history of childhood trauma often struggle with feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem well into adulthood. The internalization of blame and shame associated with traumatic experiences can perpetuate a cycle of negative self-perception, making it difficult for individuals to recognize their inherent value and capabilities.


Conflict in Relationships

The impact of trauma on relationships is profound and multifaceted. Individuals with a history of trauma may have difficulty forming and maintaining healthy relationships due to issues with trust, communication, and emotional regulation. The emotional scars of past experiences can lead to heightened sensitivity to perceived threats or slights, making it challenging to navigate conflicts constructively.


According to a study published in the Journal of Traumatic Stress (Cook et al., 2005), trauma survivors often exhibit attachment issues, which can result in either overly dependent or highly avoidant behaviors in relationships. This can lead to patterns of conflict where the individual either clings to partners for validation and safety or pushes them away to avoid potential hurt and betrayal.


Anxiety

Anxiety is a common and debilitating consequence of trauma. Traumatic experiences can leave individuals in a state of hypervigilance, constantly on alert for potential danger. This heightened state of arousal can result in generalized anxiety, panic attacks, and an overall sense of unease.


Van der Kolk (2014) highlights that trauma can dysregulate the body's stress response, leading to persistent anxiety and fear. The brain's alarm system becomes overly sensitive, reacting to perceived threats with the same intensity as actual danger. This can severely impact one's ability to relax, concentrate, and engage fully in daily activities.


Healing and Moving Forward

While the effects of trauma can be long-lasting, healing is possible. Therapeutic interventions, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), and mindfulness practices, have been shown to be effective in helping individuals process trauma and rebuild their sense of self.


Building self-trust, enhancing self-esteem, improving relationship skills, and managing anxiety require time, patience, and professional support. It is crucial for individuals to recognize that their struggles are valid and that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.


Understanding the profound impact of trauma and difficult life experiences on one's emotional and psychological health is the first step towards healing. By addressing these issues with compassion and professional guidance, individuals can begin to reclaim their lives and move towards a future defined by resilience and self-empowerment.


References
  • Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence--from Domestic Abuse to Political Terror. Basic Books.

  • Wright, M. O., Crawford, E., & Del Castillo, D. (2013). Childhood emotional maltreatment and later psychological distress among college students: The mediating role of maladaptive schemas. Child Abuse & Neglect, 33(1), 59-68.

  • Cook, A., Spinazzola, J., Ford, J., Lanktree, C., Blaustein, M., Cloitre, M., ... & van der Kolk, B. (2005). Complex trauma in children and adolescents. Psychiatric Annals, 35(5), 390-398.

  • Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Viking.

Comments


bottom of page